Interesting….and somehow surprising. I have to apologize that I usually look down western fan fiction: Westerns are good at writing original but never fan fiction because they focus too much on personal style. Well, this is culture different I must say. But this one, it’s good. I strongly recommend posting this piece without translation. There exist many words, styles, and grammar that can only be expressed by English. If you make changes to these, I am sure the story will be half enjoyable. AS a member of NJP (naval judging party >v<), I must say Oh….man. The first two chapters are really good. This is what I am looking for in advantage-type fan frictions. It is objective, while at the same time with a solid objective. (wait wait wait. you think I am making a mistake in English? No. I haven’t. There are two ‘objective’ in the above sentence, and they are of different meanings)First of all, It gives a short briefing to the characters, including their name, appearance and character in a light and clear but indirect way during their first appearance. The description is objective and usually not by direct selling, which is what I always asking in fan fiction. Second, the ‘cause and result’ relationship present inside all the incidences has reflected the organisation hard works during story developing, again, this is what I am asking for. This clear organised story plot is an essential factor in attracting successive reading. Maybe it is not the best piece of work, but it is the one that worth to study by writer in this circle.